-Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind-
(Dr Seuss quotes -American Writer & Cartoonist, 1904 - 1991)

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All I Want for Christmas is my.........

It's Christmas Eve today!! I am so excited as this is my 2nd year celebrating Christmas with my daughter. Awesome feeling!   I am hoping to attend midnight mass today as it marks the beginning of Christmas Day. But if Rosemary is tired by the time comes, then I will only attend mass tomorrow morning. While writing this, I am thinking of something.

Hey, have you guys ever wondered what Christmas is all about besides all those nice things we do like exchanging gifts lah, sending wishes through text messages, e-cards lah and so on. I was just thinking, surely Christmas means more than that. I mean, it's nice to go visiting, exchange gifts, have some makan-makan session, but is that all? What happen next after Christmas?

I am starting to think about what I did this entire year and what I have achieved and not. I had my ups and down just like any other human. I've had hurts and I've had good laughs as well. I've admired some great people along the way and I've been in situations that I shouldn't have to, perhaps I may, would have hurt other people, for I am not a perfect person. I am learning everyday to be a better person, a better mom and a better wife. And so, I am summing all this up to one greatest gift that Christmas has to offer. And that gift is forgiveness.

Dr Peter Strelan from the University of Adelaide's School of Psychology has this to say about forgiveness:

He says forgiveness is acknowledging that you're human and have the same ability to hurt others.

"Getting people to recognise that they're also capable of hurting others, probably have and probably will again unintentionally, is an important step," he says.

"We're humans, we do make mistake and hurt other people, so being able to see things from different perspectives is really important."

Dr Peter Strelan says there's some simple ways to help you move along the process of forgiveness.

1. Think about whether the person who has hurt you has tried to make amends or apologise.

"If the perpetrator is trying to make amends, we get the message from them that they're taking responsibility for what they've done and they actually care about me, for having hurt me," Dr Strelan says.

2. Reframe the scenario of how you've been hurt

"If the person who has hurt you isn't trying to make amends, you can try and re-interpret what has happened and try to understand why it has happened and maybe there was a situation or something else going on in the other person's head that you weren't aware of," he says.

3. Remember that just as you've been hurt, you can also hurt.

"Just think about the fact that it's possible for you to hurt someone else as well and one day you'll probably need forgiveness," Dr Strelan advises.

Having read all that, it just strike me that although forgiveness seems such a simple word, yet, it is such a difficult thing to do, kan? Can we really forgive ourselves and others?

I think we can. I know it because I will learn to accomplish it. Further more, life is so unpredictable and is too short for us to keep pondering over any hurtful events.  So, I'm thinking we should at least begin this by trying.

So my dear friends, besides exchanging wonderful gifts and sending out all the pleasant wishes through text messages and e-cards, let us also make the meaning of Christmas more significantly by forgiving ourselves first.

We should move forward and make a positive difference in the future.   Alamak, I feel so like a preacher all of a sudden.


  1. Thank you :) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and family!