-Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind-
(Dr Seuss quotes -American Writer & Cartoonist, 1904 - 1991)

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Am I spoiling my baby ??

I remembered how frantic it was at the sound of my baby’s cry, especially during the first few months after . Just imagine, being a new mom with no experience at all, situations like that makes us yearn for someone who’s experience to help us to cater to our baby’s needs.

In my case, I was considered quite lucky (minus the part on the confinement lady) because my parents in law live nearby and they were always there to help whenever the call for help strikes. Still, taking care of a child is a daily learning process, whether it’s a case of you’ve been there, done that or being an inexperience mum, just like me. The truth is as a child grows, so will your knowledge.

Recently, I over heard lady A told lady B that someone taught her not to pick her crying baby up because if she did, she’d be overly pampering and spoiling her baby. For a moment, my mind went blank and hear only cricket sound....

OK, honestly? (but then again it’s just my opinion) picking up a crying baby will definitely not spoil/pamper your baby! In fact, from my very own experience, by attending to my crying baby, I am actually “telling” my baby that she’s in safe hands and believe it or not, that will actually help to build up the security and confident feelings in my baby. Not to mention also, the feeling of being loved…. and how can I tell all this ? As of now, she’s 9 months and she hardly cries unless she needs attention. So you see, in a way, I have taught her indirectly that when she cries, mommy will come and soothe you and there’s no need to cry anymore. I also want her to know that she’s safe with mommy and daddy, and that she’s well taken care.
I really do not understand how that sort of affection from a mother to her baby can lead to spoiling the child! Come to think of it, if a baby cries, wouldn’t that probably means she needs something? Babies can’t talk, so obviously the only way to communicate with us is through crying!

Okay, so the next question is, how would I know if I am spoiling my baby then? I am thinking in a scenario whereby your baby is probably at the age of 7 months, and she’s beginning to recognize facial expression. And she wants to bite on to a dirty railing for instance. So yes, in this case, you can be stern with her and tell her “no” by shaking your head or a finger gesture indicating “cannot”. And… she cries. Spoiling in this case to me would mean you immediately pick her up and give in to her crying and allowing her to do what she wanted to do earlier, thus chanelling the wrong signal to your little baby. Your baby will soon understands that if she doesn’t get what she wants, all she has to do is cry and you’ll give in.
However, if you show her that you are upset and if she cries, you stick firm to your gesture and say, “mommy is not happy” and try to explain to her in simple words, like “dirty, cannot bite… this is dirty”, you’ll be amazed to find out that she actually understands! Work your way out by diverting her attention to her toys and she’ll soon forget about biting the dirty railing!
True, sometimes a baby’s crying can drive us up the wall, but hey, isn’t that all part and parcel of being a mother?


  1. Dont think its spoiling. I would have run and stop my child from crying.

    And yes, because baby cant talk, they use cry to express themselves, so we need to understand too..

    Take care there, kk? =)

  2. glad we think alike :) hmmm...it shows you are ready to be a daddy!